In me family and ethnic group we are tought to be kbedient to our elders and our wives should be obedient to their husbands. These teachings have been passed on from generation to generation

In my house we are three people. That is myself, my mom and my little sister. My mother and my sister depend on me to provide and keep the house going. I do this by studying to secure our future and sending allowances home. I depend on my mom and sister to continue supporting me and making sure the house is going strong and doing good. In this interdependency we can see an exchange of monetary support for emotional support. Outside of this network I have my family. My family is quite huge but the most important members to me is my aunts and cousins. I relate to them because I grew up with them and they have influenced my character greatly. The exchanges that takes place between us is that we provide close relationships to each other. Through this we are able to have the much needed close social interactions. My aunts often give me anything I need and in return I promise to do good in my schoolwork so that I can also uplift my family. Besides my family, I have a close group of friends. Me and my friends try to help each other out wherever we can. This exchange of support and assistance is integral to our survival in the townships and it is something that we value highly. Apart from my friends I also have my girlfriend. Me and my girlfriend share an intimate relationship and the exchange that takes place between is is that we both have a bid and turn relationship. When one makes a bid for attention the other responds by turning towards the partner and giving them attention. This form of exchange is reciprocal as we have instances like this throughout the day. It is however not fully reciprocal as our relationship do not depend on attention being reciprocated. Another important network in my life is everyone that are authoritative figures such as teachers(lecturers), civil society and the law enforcers. The exchange that takes between us is that I have to adhere to the rules that they apply and in exchange I benefit by receiving some sort of service. I relate to them as we have a professional relationship not an intimate one.

This morning I woke up at 7am. I am not a morning person so waking up this early is not for me. My body felt like a ton of cement. Struggling to get out of bed, I smelled a thick sent of marijuana. Knowing that one of my house mates was probably already up, I went to wash my face and join him for a ‘smoke sessions’. The smell of weed makes me happy, I often compare it to the feeling of smelling fresh food, knowing you are about to get satisfied. After smoking I felt pretty high, and went back to sleep, missing my morning class. I have now come to realize that the ‘smoking session’ was a ritual- a rite of passage. A rite of passage consists of the separation, liminal/marginal and reincorporation stages. When I went outside to smoke with him, I realized that we were in a spot in the yard away from the walls of the house. This means that we were separating ourselves from the rest of the ‘non-smokers’. We were thus in the separation stage. While smoking, I could feel myself transition to a ‘higher’ level. I was in between sober and high. This was thus the liminal/marginal stage-a stage of constant transition. When the joint was finished, I could feel that I was high. I realized I was no longer in my previous state, but I was now in a new state(high). We went back into the house and rejoined the space of our fellow housemates. We thus went into the reincorporation stage, as we were in a new state, and reincorporated into our groups.

After falling asleep, I woke up again around 9, got ready and left for class. In class, I could hear the students speaking about the lecture of the day before. Because I did not attend that lecture, I felt a bit confused. Suddenly my mouth ran dry, it felt like the drought season we had in Cape Town a couple of years ago. I then reached into my pocket and took out some halls, tasting relief instantly.

After leaving class I went home to my girlfriend. I saw her standing outside. It turns out there was a lizard in the room and she was scared, and waited for me to come and chase it out. I realized that this was an example of the social position of the man’s role as the protector of the female. I went in and chased out the lizard (I was not going to kill it of course!)

By this time it was around 6, and my girlfriend cooked. She made me some Roti, which I loved since its taste reminded me of home. We then went to sleep.

With minimal contact on a day-to-day basis, I do not speak to a lot of people, hence there is not a lot to narrate about my day.

Lorenzo De Booy

43146694